1. A doctor answers…his phone at home on a Friday night. His colleague says, “We need an eighth player for poker.” The doctor replied, “Hold on. I’ll be there ASAP.” As he was grabbing his coat and keys, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “It sure is,” he said. “There are already seven other doctors there!”

2. From the poker dictionary: lottery (noun):
A tax on people who are bad at math.

3. A man hears a voice…that tells him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. The next day he hears the same voice telling him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. On a third day, he hears the voice again; saying “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He finally obeys.

Upon arriving in Las Vegas, the voice says, “Go to the Rio.” He does.

At the Rio, the voice says, “Put your last $10,000 on a WSOP entry.” He does.

The first hand of the tournament, the man is dealt A A. “Go all in,” commands the voice. He does and gets three callers. The flop is J T 9. “F*%$!” says the voice.